Why I Write: I'm Gay and Catholic

This morning my local newspaper ran an inflammatory article about gay marriage's "dirty little secret" -- that according to data from 33 years ago, not all gay couples are monogamous.  According to the author, "gay couples are very different when it comes to sex," and "in legalizing gay marriage, we are accepting a form of sanctioned marriage which is inventing all kinds of new models of how to accommodate lust and desire."

... Really?  Such an imagination and the author can't find a way to use her powers for good?  Of course not all gay marriages are monogamous.  Neither are a lot of straight marriages.  But that doesn't mean that gay marriage exists simply to sanction lust and desire.

As a gay Catholic I've spent years listening to iterations of the idea that I'm somehow more sinful than everyone else.  That I'm dirty, wrong, an abomination, or -- as my own Catechism puts it -- "objectively disordered" and "gravely depraved."  People have asked me whether I'm worried about being unnatural, and have chastised me for not praying hard enough for a "cure."  I've been yelled at, harassed on my way to class, and have been told (shouted at, really) that I'm going to hell.

You might think that I'm provoking people to anger, or that I stand out in some obvious way.  I'm not, and I don't.  I'm actually pretty shy and I mostly keep to myself.  In fact, a lot of my family and friends probably don't even know that I identify as gay.  I don't do anything to stand out, aside from being willing to talk about being gay.

I started this blog because I'm tired of feeling silenced when people make uninformed and hurtful comments about the gay community.  It's not okay for others to use my sexuality as a canvas for expressing their own insecurities.  And mostly, I want to reach out to other people in my situation.  It's scary to be young and gay, especially when being honest about yourself means taking the very real risk of losing family and friends you love.  But it's never acceptable for others to make derogatory comments about you and your sexuality, whether overt or implied.  Not your family, not your church, not the media -- nobody.

I'm gay, and I don't have the power to change that, just like I don't have the power to change the color of my skin or eyes.  Could a heterosexual change his or her sexual preference?  In any case, I do have the power to say something about the way I'm treated, and I'm done staying silent.